Dealing with Breakups - Example Reading
Deck: Robin Wood
Question: Why you and your ex-husband broke up in the first place, if there is a chance for reconciliation or should you go your separate ways?
Spread: This spread uses three rows for the past, present, and future of the relationship, to help you understand what caused it to break up, where it stands now, and what you need to know to make a positive decision about the future. In each row, the center card represents the combined relationship and is read first, followed by your cards to the left and his cards to the right. The cards you received are shown in the attached graphics file, and have the specific meanings as follows:
Top Row:
Center: The main reason this relationship broke up
Left: How you contributed to the break-up
Right: How he contributed to the break-up
Middle Row:
Center: Where this relationship stands right now
Left: How you feel about it
Right: How he feels about it
Bottom Row:
Center: The most positive thing you can both do now
Left: How to move beyond the past
Right: What to look forward to in the future
Reading
My overall sense looking at these cards is that they are very positive. Almost all your cards are upright and good cards, some are traditional marriage cards. It seems this relationship has the potential to be a good strong marriage, and that there were some difficulties only with expectations or issues from the past that got in the way.
Past (Top Row):
Center: Six of Cups, reversed. This card shows the main reason that the relationship broke up. The Six of Cups is a card of nostalgia, childlike love and generosity, and a carefree, naïve outlook on life. Reversed, it suggests that one or both of you may have had unrealistically rosy ideas about married life, and what it would be like. You may have gotten married when you were young and naïve, and did not really realize how it would be. You may have had unrealistic expectations of each other, based on romantic ideals of love formed during your childhood or teenage years. There may have also been issues relating to having children, problems stemming from one or both of your childhoods, or expectations of roles in the marriage that caused difficulty.
Left: Four of Wands. Both this card and your husband's card, the Ten of Pentacles, are traditional marriage cards and both are upright, indicating a basically positive situation. In the Four of Wands, a couple dances on a canopied platform bedecked with flowers. The couple are perfectly matched and they move in harmony and synchronicity. This shows a kind of picture-perfect romance that may have given rise to high expectations for the marriage, that simply could not be met in everyday life. For you, there may have been issues relating to equal partnerships – perhaps he did not always live up to what you believed his role as a husband should be, or perhaps you felt he did not allow you the role in the marriage that you wanted.
Right: Ten of Pentacles. On his side, there is a card of a very traditional family home. Here we see grandparents and children, the family dog, home as a castle, and fine furnishings. There is an emphasis on material abundance and providing for the family, and on continuing the family through children and inheritance. This was his vision for the marriage, and in some way, this did not come true for him. He felt that something in this picture was lacking and could not reconcile the reality with his expectations. Each of you had issues with the actual marriage not conforming to your expectations, but perhaps did not have the relationship or emotional tools to work it out at that time and broke up instead.
Present (Middle Row):
Center: King of Pentacles. Because this card is a King and in the same suit as the Ten of Pentacles above, this may indicate that your ex-husband is the one who initiated contact about a possible reconciliation. Alternatively, this card may represent the combined energies in the situation. The King of Pentacles is a person that values home and family, and is relatively conservative and traditional. This would be someone (or two people) that would care about giving a marriage a second try and trying to work out your differences. The king represents persistence, dedication, and honesty (along with a bit of stubbornness). Perhaps you both have matured since the events shown above, and are ready to approach this again with more experience and a realistic, down-to-earth approach. You would at least like to feel that you have given it your best try before giving up. The King also enjoys aesthetic pleasures, and food and drink, and suggests that maybe a good way to start is to try "dating" again – start over from the beginning and see where it takes you.
Left: Queen of Swords. You are represented here by the Queen of Swords. This is a woman who is independent and has learned to live on her own. Any unrealistically romantic notions she may have had about love have been dispelled, and she is able to see the situation with clear sight and judge accurately what is best for all in the situation. She is a mixture of the elements of Air and Water, and as such can use both her head and her heart in thinking through a situation. She can go it alone if need be and be perfectly happy, but is also willing to be fair and give a relationship another chance if it is appropriate. The appearance of mature court cards in this row is a very good sign for a reconciliation – at least there is a good chance that both sides have learned a lot from the previous experience and may be more mature and capable than before. In any case, the Queen is more than a match for the King of Pentacles, and is not likely to be dominated by his wishes. You should be able to analyze the situation, think through what happened before and what needs to be done to make it work this time, and articulate your thoughts clearly and firmly.
Right: Eight of Wands. The Eight of Wands represents your husband's views at this time. The Eight is a card of things finally coming to resolution, of a maturity of desire and a hope of reaching new levels that have not been achievable before. He has a need for closure one way or the other, and is willing to take the chance that things may work out better than they did before. He is willing to put some energy and enthusiasm into it and see where it goes. The Eight of Wands is also a card of change, which suggests a real potential for growth on his part and a redefinition of his personal direction and self-image within the relationship. He feels that anything may be possible at this moment.
Future (Bottom Row):
Center: Eight of Swords, reversed. The Eight of Swords is a card of temporary obstacles and limitations, usually self-imposed or created by our own unhelpful though patterns or attitudes. This is what you need to address in order to have a successful reconciliation with your ex-husband. You will both need to identify and work on changing any left-over issues or attitudes you have from your break-up and also any patterns of relating to one another that caused the original problems. In this card, the woman stands bound and blindfolded, and surrounded by swords. It seems like she is stuck and it is hard for her to see what to do. Yet, if she could just reach out her hand, she would find that the swords are nearby and could be used to cut herself free. The swords symbolize our ways of thinking about things – they are both a cage and the way to let yourselves free of the cage. There may be issues about trust and security that need to be worked out.
Left: The Magician. This card shows the way to freeing yourself from the problems of the past. The Magician shows each of us at a time in our lives when we have the power and the energy to create a new life cycle for ourselves. All the tools of the four suits are before him on the table, symbolizing the appropriate use of mind, heart, body, and soul in the process. Behind him, one black and one white candle burns. These are the candles of yin/yang, passive and active energies, and a blend of male and female. Also, they represent our conscious selves and our shadow selves – that part of ourselves which is buried in our subconscious and represents the part we would rather not know about. To let go of the past, both will need to be brought into the light and examined. The Magician represents the power of conscious thought and will. If you are both willing to look honestly and openly at why things happened the way they did (the good and the bad), and have a positive conscious belief that you can create your own futures, either independently or together, you can release the past and move forward positively into a new cycle.
Right: Queen of Pentacles. This is what you have to look forward to in the future. It is interesting that the Queen of Pentacles is the natural counterpart of the King of Pentacles seen earlier in the reading. At one level, this could mean that, once you (the Queen of Swords now) have gone through the process suggested by the Magician, you will become comfortable with what the King of Pentacles (your ex) is offering, and both of you may be able to settle into a domestic partnership. At another level, the Queen of Pentacles represents what you both stand to gain by going through this process, whether or not you end up together. Like the King, she honors and values her home and family. She also has a very creative and fertile approach to life, and where she goes, things blossom – whether they be gardens, children, or home businesses. She is a practical, down-to-earth woman who is satisfied with her life and enjoys what she has created around herself. This card suggests that there is value in attempting the reconciliation process, as it may end up very well for both of you together, and at a minimum may give you both a sense of closure, so that if you move apart you will know your independent paths are the right ones.
