Analyzing Relationships - Example Reading

Deck: Robin Wood

Question: There's a guy at work who seems to like me - some days he brings me gifts, but other days he seems to avoid me.  He asked me out to dinner, but never followed through.  He is in an unhappy relationship and has been living with a woman for 9 years - he says he has talked to her about ending things, but she refuses to move out. Is there any chance of a relationship between us in the future?  Does he really have feelings for me or is he just playing mind games?

Spread: This reading is an analysis of your relationship at various levels – physical, mental, and emotional – based on the tree of life pattern. Card 1 shows how the relationship appears in your life at this time. The left-hand row represents you, the right-hand column represents your friend at work, and the middle column shows the combined energies of your relationship.  Cards 2, 3, and 4 show your physical relationship, cards 5, 6, and 7 show the intellectual or mental relationship, and cards 8, 9, and 10 show the emotional aspects of your relationship.  Card 0 will be read last, and is the heart of the matter, or the advice of the tarot for you in this situation.

READING

Most of your cards are upright, all but two, and this shows that the relationship does have a positive potential future.  There are a couple of problem areas reflecting your current situation, not surprisingly.  Let's look at this in detail:

Card 1 – Six of Swords. This card represents the current state of your relationship, and shows that you and Tom are both on a mental journey.  He is leaving behind a negative situation in his past, and you can both see the landscape ahead and your goal.  The water you are traveling over represents your emotions, and the swords in the boat are your thoughts, which need to be carefully arranged in order to make this journey safely. You are not there yet, and there are still possible pitfalls along the way, even though the water is calm at the moment.  Nevertheless, things are improving and you are making progress.

Card 2 – The World. This card shows that when it comes to your physical world and body, you are very centered, grounded, and at peace with yourself. You know what you want, and are comfortable with the world you have created for yourself.  You know that there is a right time for everything, and are able to let things come when they will.  This is a good card to have here and shows that you have the centeredness and basic common sense to deal with this situation safely.  You are not emotionally needy, which could easily get you in trouble.  You can see this situation clearly and know when the time is right to act on your feelings. You can also live with the outcome if it turns out that it doesn't work out, because you are comfortable with yourself.

Card 3 – Ten of Swords. Physically and sexually speaking, your friend's relationship with his partner is completely over. This card shows an end to a long-term relationship, buried by too many arguments and painful thoughts.  He is more than ready to make a new start at a physical level.  However, he is not really free of the swords yet, and as we move up to the mental and emotional, it will be clear that he still has entanglements there.  So he is not really free to start up a new physical relationship, even though he feels it is long overdue.

Card 4 – Knight of Wands. This is a fiery and quite sexual card that shows warmth and sparks flying between you whenever you do get together physically. It shows him making a new start and fully throwing himself into it, being convinced it is the right thing to do. He may be led forward by his passions.  This shows what energy could be unleashed once he gets free of those swords and painful thoughts that are holding him back – and being an Aries, I think you will respond positively to this fiery energy and passion.

Card 5 – Five of Wands, reversed. Moving to an intellectual or mental level of your relationship, you feel conflicted about it, as you sense that he still has competing interests and you are not sure you want to get involved in that.  You feel alternatively drawn to him and annoyed with him for not being fully together and for playing what you see as mind games. This is understandable, since the World shows that you are a pretty together person yourself, and you would prefer to have a partner that is also sure of what he wants.

Card 6 – Queen of Pentacles. His mind is still occupied by the problem of his current partner.  I am sure this represents her, as the Queen of Pentacles is more of a domestic type.  Her home is very important to her, and this may explain why she is reluctant to leave (she may feel that he should leave if he is going to end their relationship). She is slow to change, practical, and down-to-earth. Although he clearly wants to end this relationship, he is just not sure how to go about it, and is thinking a lot about this right now.

Card 7 – Six of Pentacles, reversed. This whole situation creates a dynamic that is a little bit unhealthy. He wants to give and receive what he has, and feel generous and productive again, but he is trying to please everyone, and in the end will please no-one with that approach.  He wants everyone in this situation to like him and genuinely wants the best for everyone. However, he is not facing up to the hard decisions he has to make, and this leads to a bit of self-deception and not being entirely truthful with you or his current partner either. He simply can't have things both ways, and if he tries to start up your relationship too early or under deceptive pretenses, he runs the risk of messing up what could be a very good relationship, and earning your dislike as well. My sense is that you don't tolerate deception or mind-games for very long, even if the motivations are good ones.  He needs to be clear about this, so he doesn't get himself in trouble and lose what he is hoping to gain.

Card 8 – Nine of Wands. Emotionally, you are feeling a bit protective and defensive right now. The man in this card represents you – he has a small bandage on his head, showing that he has been wounded in a minor skirmish but is still very strong, healthy, and more than able to handle this situation.  You are right to be careful, but still cautiously optimistic.  In his hand he holds a glowing wand, which has a white crystal of clear sight at one end and a purple globe of healing at the bottom. This shows that if you just think clearly and possibly be a bit generous emotionally, you can get through this situation safely and positively. You have a lot of other emotional resources to fall back on, arrayed and ready for use, should they be needed.

Card 9 – Two of Pentacles. Emotionally speaking, he is still feeling indecisive.  This shows a person carefully weighing two options, and trying to decide whether to keep the past or move on into the future.  The two options are Pentacles, symbolizing home and a serious relationship. The sailing ships in the background recall the boat in the Six of Swords, and speak of mental journeys, which he is very much still in the process of making (and not very quickly, either).  He feels as though he is walking on a tight-rope, and any mis-step could cause disaster. Therefore he is being very cautious.

Card 10 – Two of Wands. Another Two, symbolizing decisions and partnerships.  However, this one is in the suit of Wands, which is much more active and shows a person decisively grasping one of two wands. He is making a decision between what he already has at home, and what he could have if he goes out into the unknown world. This relationship between you, which is still in a beginning stage, is serving as a catalyst to get him to make a more active decision. It will be even more so that way if you are clear with him about not getting involved in any serious way until he has made his final decision.  All of these cards are upright, suggesting that in the end, you will both deal with this is a responsible and appropriate way, whatever the final decision turns out to be.

Card 0 – The Hanged Man. The advice of the tarot for you in this situation can be summed up in one word – wait. The Hanged Man is very comfortable in his strange position, and he knows that the time is not right for action.  He uses the time productively to look inside himself and be sure of what he wants, so that when the time is right he will know it.  The biggest concern right now in this relationship is that your friend needs to make a decision and act on it, and not try to entangle you in mind games or deceive himself about having things both ways. If you are careful not to get too involved until this is really accomplished, the potential for this relationship is very positive. This card suggests that if you are willing to wait and be patient, the situation will straighten itself out with time.

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